Los Angeles Football: An Immodest Proposal

Okay, we're almost to the end of July which means two things, first, the Back-to-School sales have already begun and second, Football Camps will be starting up soon. And as become the case since 1995, the annual talk about the lack of a team in Los Angeles is once again making the rounds. As teams begin to loo for more revenue, L.A. is usually used as a token threat to bully the local municipality that hosts the NFL team looking for a new Stadium to build them one, else they pack up the plantation and head for the bright lights of Hollywood.

Now being a former die-hard Rams fan, and I won't rehash my history with the team, I would love to have the Rams back where they belong, here in Los Angeles, where they brought the city's first world championship eight years before the Dodgers did it. Few people remember that the Rams were once a force to be reckoned with in the old NFL, not the broken-down and tattered shell it was when "Madame Ram" ran the team into the ground like McBankrupt did with the Dodgers.

Obviously, there are ground rules that would have to be respected. First and foremost, whatever team LA gets has to change its' name. With the exception of both the Rams and the Chargers, who started their existence in L.A. in 1960, any team that wants to move here has to leave their team name, colors, records and traditions behind in their former city. I know what you're saying, Raider fans, "Hey man, the Raiders ARE L.A.'s team."

"Could I have a glass of water?"

To quote former Philadelphia Eagles Head Coach Andy Reid, "Uh, No..."

They started in Oakland, The great John Facenda's reading of "The Autumn Wind" brings to mind images of the Black Hole in the Oakland Coliseum, and even though they left and returned to Oakland, and thanks to former Seattle Seahawk owner Ken Behring attempt to move the Seahawks to Los Angeles and Art Modell's move of the former Cleveland Browns to Baltimore to become the Ravens, the precedent for leaving behind said colors, traditions and records has been established. In fact, former commissioner Paul Tagliabue stated as such under his administration of the League, when the majority of these relocations occurred. So, if, for example, Jacksonville or Buffalo decide they are going to move, they will be obligated to abandon their identity in order to come to Los Angeles, which brings me to my proposal.

Now everyone has tried to come up with a possible name for a relocated franchise should one come to LA. I'm not going to get into which stadium I think they will play in, but for the record, I do NOT favor the Farmers Field concept that AEG is pushing in downtown LA., there's just no way that would work logistically, and you'll eliminate any opportunity to tailgate before a game with the parking set up.

I prefer the Grand Crossing project out in the Eastern San Gabriel Valley. So, names like the Gladiators, Earthquakes and even the "Mighty Bucks" has been suggested as a name. (Yes, yes, I know, that was from the TV Show, "Coach," but I'm making a point here.)

Now rather than try to come up with a new name, a recently-concluded TV show came up with the perfect name for a relocated football team here. And the name not only would work well, but it also invokes nostalgia amongst those long-time sports fans in Los Angeles.

(ScreenCap Courtesy USA Networks)

Yes, the good folks over at the USA Network show "psych" had an episode set at a fictional domed stadium in LA, called the "Thunderdome" (with apologies to the UCSB students and alumni fans of their basketball team) and the team was named the Thunderbirds. As a sports fan, it works perfectly.

For those of you not familiar with the sport of roller derby, and I mean the classic version, not the revamped and revitalized version skated today by your average hot chick these days, The L.A. T-Birds were the undisputed champions of good-living and virtue, as opposed to their main rivals, usually the Chicago Bombers or whatever the team in San Francisco called themselves each week.

(The T-Birds at their peak in 1980. Photo courtesy the great Scott Stephens, second row, center)

As for the Team colors, the classic Thunderbirds Green, Gold and Satin White colors would probably invoke images of Notre Dame, which would probably piss off the Trojan fans, which is an added benefit for this Bruin. But if you're going to go with the look of the T-Birds, you can also go with their classic 1970's color scheme of white uniforms with the Red and Blue striped accents, which would make a nice compliment to the already popular growing look of the Los Angeles Clippers, sans their hopefully soon to be gone racist owner, (Get to Steppin' Donald Stering!)

If the NFL is going to stop the ridiculousness of leveraging the possibility of moving to LA by either calling someone's bluff and let them move or just taking a team that's cratering uncontrollably and running it itself or even building a league-owned stadium which will make the costs back by hosting the Super Bowl every five years in Los Angeles, just get it done and either let Stan Kroenke bring the Rams home or they let a team move here and let the Thunder roll all over SoCal...