Los Angeles Football: An Immodest Proposal

Okay, we're almost to the end of July which means two things, first, the Back-to-School sales have already begun and second, Football Camps will be starting up soon. And as become the case since 1995, the annual talk about the lack of a team in Los Angeles is once again making the rounds. As teams begin to loo for more revenue, L.A. is usually used as a token threat to bully the local municipality that hosts the NFL team looking for a new Stadium to build them one, else they pack up the plantation and head for the bright lights of Hollywood.

Now being a former die-hard Rams fan, and I won't rehash my history with the team, I would love to have the Rams back where they belong, here in Los Angeles, where they brought the city's first world championship eight years before the Dodgers did it. Few people remember that the Rams were once a force to be reckoned with in the old NFL, not the broken-down and tattered shell it was when "Madame Ram" ran the team into the ground like McBankrupt did with the Dodgers.

Obviously, there are ground rules that would have to be respected. First and foremost, whatever team LA gets has to change its' name. With the exception of both the Rams and the Chargers, who started their existence in L.A. in 1960, any team that wants to move here has to leave their team name, colors, records and traditions behind in their former city. I know what you're saying, Raider fans, "Hey man, the Raiders ARE L.A.'s team."

"Could I have a glass of water?"

To quote former Philadelphia Eagles Head Coach Andy Reid, "Uh, No..."

They started in Oakland, The great John Facenda's reading of "The Autumn Wind" brings to mind images of the Black Hole in the Oakland Coliseum, and even though they left and returned to Oakland, and thanks to former Seattle Seahawk owner Ken Behring attempt to move the Seahawks to Los Angeles and Art Modell's move of the former Cleveland Browns to Baltimore to become the Ravens, the precedent for leaving behind said colors, traditions and records has been established. In fact, former commissioner Paul Tagliabue stated as such under his administration of the League, when the majority of these relocations occurred. So, if, for example, Jacksonville or Buffalo decide they are going to move, they will be obligated to abandon their identity in order to come to Los Angeles, which brings me to my proposal.

Now everyone has tried to come up with a possible name for a relocated franchise should one come to LA. I'm not going to get into which stadium I think they will play in, but for the record, I do NOT favor the Farmers Field concept that AEG is pushing in downtown LA., there's just no way that would work logistically, and you'll eliminate any opportunity to tailgate before a game with the parking set up.

I prefer the Grand Crossing project out in the Eastern San Gabriel Valley. So, names like the Gladiators, Earthquakes and even the "Mighty Bucks" has been suggested as a name. (Yes, yes, I know, that was from the TV Show, "Coach," but I'm making a point here.)

Now rather than try to come up with a new name, a recently-concluded TV show came up with the perfect name for a relocated football team here. And the name not only would work well, but it also invokes nostalgia amongst those long-time sports fans in Los Angeles.

(ScreenCap Courtesy USA Networks)

Yes, the good folks over at the USA Network show "psych" had an episode set at a fictional domed stadium in LA, called the "Thunderdome" (with apologies to the UCSB students and alumni fans of their basketball team) and the team was named the Thunderbirds. As a sports fan, it works perfectly.

For those of you not familiar with the sport of roller derby, and I mean the classic version, not the revamped and revitalized version skated today by your average hot chick these days, The L.A. T-Birds were the undisputed champions of good-living and virtue, as opposed to their main rivals, usually the Chicago Bombers or whatever the team in San Francisco called themselves each week.

(The T-Birds at their peak in 1980. Photo courtesy the great Scott Stephens, second row, center)

As for the Team colors, the classic Thunderbirds Green, Gold and Satin White colors would probably invoke images of Notre Dame, which would probably piss off the Trojan fans, which is an added benefit for this Bruin. But if you're going to go with the look of the T-Birds, you can also go with their classic 1970's color scheme of white uniforms with the Red and Blue striped accents, which would make a nice compliment to the already popular growing look of the Los Angeles Clippers, sans their hopefully soon to be gone racist owner, (Get to Steppin' Donald Stering!)

If the NFL is going to stop the ridiculousness of leveraging the possibility of moving to LA by either calling someone's bluff and let them move or just taking a team that's cratering uncontrollably and running it itself or even building a league-owned stadium which will make the costs back by hosting the Super Bowl every five years in Los Angeles, just get it done and either let Stan Kroenke bring the Rams home or they let a team move here and let the Thunder roll all over SoCal...

The Case for an ESPN Olympics (UPDATED)

Editor's Note: This story was begun on February 9 2014, but completed a month later due to a month of Winter Misery suffered by the author, the Management apologize for the lateness of the posting...

It's early Sunday morning, the first full weekend of the Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia and more than a few things come to mind. First and foremost, why do we have to put up with the horrible tape delayed coverage of the Games by NBC?

Since 1988, and continuously since 1996, we've been forced to put up with the Peacock Network's horrible "Tape-Delayed" coverage of the events because they want the "Prime time" eyeballs. Never mind that since 2000, they've essentially butchered what once was a glorious exercise in covering the World's most prestigious athletic endeavor when ABC carried the Olympics. The most powerful images of the Games until 1984 came from ABC. The "Black Power" protests on the medal ceremony, the Late Jim McKay recounted the tragic conclusion to the Munich Hostage crisis, the "Miracle on Ice" of Lake Placid and the emergence of "America's Sweetheart" Mary Lou Retton on the floor of UCLA's Pauley Pavillion.

And what do we have images of from NBC's coverage? Not once but twice, NBC decided to cut away from the closing ceremonies in both Vancouver and London to show the pilot episode of a bad "game show" type show with Jerry Seinfeld and Kelly Ripa and a sitcom that featured a money in a Lab coat instead of showing the Who's performance. , tape delaying events in Atlanta to show them in Prime time. leaving the competition every six or seven minutes to show a 10-minute "Athlete spotlight" puff piece that did nothing but frustrate fans of the sport who want to watch the competition in its entirety. Of course, in the last couple of Summer events, we learned a new drinking game during the Track and Field events, the "Down to Bob Neumeyer" drinking game, which put many people into rehab after Beijing alone.

So, when and IF NBC ever gets outbid for the US broadcast, I would hope that it would be by ESPN. Granted, the "Four-Letter" Network has the resources of the ABC Archives to look back at how the Olympics were covered, but this is the "World Wide Leader," as their tagline is so fond of mentioning. How would the games be covered by ESPN as opposed to the way they are now on NBC?

Simply put, Live event coverage. Already, ESPN disregards time zones for international events like the recently concluded Australian Open. The matches were shown live from Australia starting late in the evening on the East Coast. If the 2022 Winter Olympics occur in say, Norway or even Iceland, broadcasting the Games live by the ESPN Networks would make it next to impossible to use the excuse of "We want to preserve the excitement of the contests," especially when an app like the one for the Sochi Games updates those results live to any smartphone.

The Summer Olympics in 2024, on the other hand, would really shine with the World Wide Leader running the coverage. SportsCenter could be used in a manner similar to what CBS does for the NCAA Tournament, acting as the anchor desk for the coverage of the Games. I'll give you an example that would highlight how well this might be pulled off.

As a hypothetical, we'll say that Los Angeles is awarded the 2024 Summer Games. the Los Angeles Studios of ESPN at the LA LIVE complex across from STAPLES Center would be their "International Broadcast Center," putting their ESPNEWS anchors in the studios to do hourly updates, throw the coverage to the various channels, and when not running an event on the Mothership, could do analysis on the various events with the Olympic athletes they would naturally hire as commentators.

The venues would have pre- and postgame panels like what's done on "College Gameday," but with a more international flavor to it. The Soccer events would make the College crowds look feeble by comparison. It would be a bit different at UCLA and USC, which would not only be hosting multiple events on campus (Tennis and an Indoor Sport at UCLA, Swimming and Diving, Track and Field and another Indoor Sport at USC) but also be the athlete villages once more. A centralized outside broadcast could be set up on front of the respective campuses' iconic statues before throwing to the event coverage as well as doing interviews with competitors before and after events.

One thing to also consider in ESPN covering a Los Angeles Summer Games would be the relative ease of accessing venues. In 1984, predictions of snarling traffic jams and choking smog alerts fell apart like so many Rube Goldberg contraptions as the city experienced one of the most spectacular 16 days of competition with nary a SIG nor Stage One Alert called for nearly the entire Games. Forty Years later, Los Angeles' Metro Rail system would rival that of its long-past ancestor, the Pacific Electric Cars, in the ease of transportation around the city and region.

Consider this: By 2024, the Metro Rail Lines, will stretch from the San Fernando Valley to Long Beach, East to Ontario Airport and West to Santa Monica Bay. There are more venues available for staging Olympic events, including STAPLES Center, The Citizens Bank Arena in Ontario, USC's Galen Center, The Honda Center in Anaheim, the StubHub Center in Carson, which incidentally was the site of the Olympic Velodrome for the '84 Games, Auto Club Speedway in Fontana, as well as potential venues like Farmers Field and/or The Stadium at Grand Crossing in the City of Walnut.

Every one of those venues already possesses or will possess the latest in broadcast technology by the time the Games arrive, and like 1984, could end up becoming just the second Olympic Games to turn a profit, one that is STILL paying off 30 years later as this is written. Also in terms of parking ease, with Baseball no longer an Olympic sport, both Dodger Stadium and Angel Stadium in Anaheim can be used as central parking venues with shuttle transportation to the nearby venues moving spectators efficiently.

One last advantage ESPN has in covering the Olympics is that Sports is in the network's name, that's what the "S" in ESPN stands for. They don't have to wrap their programming around over shows like NBC did on their "sister networks" for their coverage. Every ESPN channel from the "Mothership" to ESPN Classics could be utilized for the broadcast. Each day of the competition, Sports Center kicks off coverage by simulcasting on all ESPN channels before sending the viewers off to the various events of the day. Then after the start of the day's events, ESPNEWS becomes a "Headline News" like update show, with updates, athlete features and recaps as the day goes through, including the their famous "live look-ins" of events in progress, a la Red Zone, although the ESPN Goal Line/Buzzer Beater channel could take that function.

UPDATE: Sadly, this potential new broadcast dynamic will NOT be happening any time in the foreseeable future. As of May 7, 2014, NBCUniversal Comcast, etc.etc., obtained the rights to broadcast the Olympics through the Summer Olympics of 2032. The network paid over $7 Billion for the right to torment the American public with more crappy coverage and tape delayed nonsense for another two decades. No word yet, though, on whether Bob Costas' Pinkeye will be retained, but sources predict it will return in 2016 for the Summer Games in Rio Di Jainiero, provided Costas is dumb enough to take a dip in the sewer-contaminated oceans around Rio.