Author's Note: Somehow this post got lost in the shuffle over a number of things that were going on last year. Why it never published is beyond me, but at least this closes a chapter from long ago...
Originally Dated: February 11, 2008
When I get like this, I usually go web surfing. And in the course of taht surfing, I come across stuff on You Tube. So far you've seen some of my "discoveries" so far (see the previous video entries with the Ballagio Fountains),but for a couple of months, I've been sitting on this particular find. And seeing as this week is supposed to be all about the love, well, you can figure out why I'm feeling the way I am.
I think first I need to provide a little back story to why this video has affected me so much. For over 30 yeas, I've been a big Star Wars fan, from the day my parents took me and my brother to see the first movie at the Chinese Theater to spending the wentire weekend at last year's Star Wars Celebration IV fsn convention. OF course, being a kid at the tie, I have an extensive toy collection stretching back to the first 12 action figures.
Anyway, the saga of the rise, fall and redemption of Anakin Skywalker has always been someothing I've understood on a philosophical level. The child of destiny, nudged down the path of self-destruction by those whom he thought had his best interests in mind, then finds himself once more and sacrifices his existence to save his loved one.
Of course, since the Saga was completed almost three years ago, there's still a lot of interest in the series as a whole not just from a film standpoint but as a way of life. And there are parallels to real life that played out in the "prequel" trilogy.
Okay, you're probably asking yourself, "What the Frak is your point there, Pointdexter?"Bear with me, I tend to get a bit tangental im my stories from tie to time, especially when it's a difficult subject such as love and romance. As you might have surmised, a journalist is not the best catch when it comes to L'Amour. Face it we have really frakked-up schedules, usually involving the times when most people are enjoying a social life. In a manner of speaking, we're like JEdi, not one to cling to attachment, going where we're needed,yada yada yada.
So as you can imagine, my love life hs not beeing the earthly bliss it should be. Ironcially enough, I seem to have a great voice and I can put words to paper that have knocked people for loops. But in person? Not so muh.
So a whole day that celebrates being in love is the equivalent of wiring a fat guy's jaw shut and then forcing him to watching a bunch of Food Network shows live making his favorite foods. I defy you to show me someone who WANTS to be alone by choice. It's not in our nature to be alone, and when we have someonee we do the crazuest things to keep them around.
I know this from one standpoint. In a previous post, I talked about my Second Life "Persona" and the three year odyssey he's been part of on the Battlestar Pacifica. Also mentioned was my charater's spouse. I know first hand how love will make you do the stupidest things. I will elaborate here for the first time.
About two months or so ago, Shaheen and I decided to start our personal story line. We sppend about a month putting a very detailed back story together about our characters, not to mention building up a complicated society structure based on a mix of Southern Elite Society and the Centauri from the series "Babylon 5" surrounding our respective colony.
So, at the end of a major storyline in the sim, our version of "New Caprica" we began our storyline, the reunion of two long-time lovers who were given a second chance to be happy together. We did pretty wekll in keeping things quiet but thigns stasrted to get complicated. In the course of the previous storyline, we discovered Fleet Admiral Nagala, who supposedly died in the original attacks.
She somehow made it to the planet we had found that turned out to be a Cylon outpost. WE took her woith us and of course she took control of the fleet. In doing so,Shaheen, as is her character's personality, she was more interested in doing her job of saving lives than to follow protocols. So by defying the Admiral one too many times, she got herself banned from stepping on board the Pacifica.
It couldn't have come at a worst time, as the two of us decided to have our characters marry, which led to further complications. Since she was persona non-grata on board, I made teh decision to hide my relationship with her, something I would come to regret.
At the same time, unbeknownst to me, a small group was forming in response to the appearance of the admiral. I had no professional problems with the Admiral per se, in fact she did apprecaite my efforst and even took an ad-libed idea to heart and implemented it into the jump protocols. Of course, the one thing I couldn't stomach was having my then-fiance forbidden from coming aboard.
So the day came when we got married, coinciding with another wedding happening on the sim. We took this as an opportunity to do it in secret, with three peeople in attendance. (Hopefully, you see the parallels with Anakin's story so far, geting a second chance to see Padme, falling in love with her and violating the Jedi's tenets to marry her)
So eventually, I got pulled into that group, and it all fell apart at once. The guy in charge of it got caught and was executed. Because he was with shaheen at the time, she was arrsted and accused of treason. I got thrown in the brig for a trumped-up charge of trying to kill the Commander of the Pacifica. WE eventually were freed when it was realized we weren't directly involved in the action and that we were pulled in as fall guys. But he damage was done,
(Once again another parallel. Anakin falls under the influence fo a Sith Lord(Ihe Supremem Chancellor/Emperor and in an attempt to keep Padme alive, falls to the Dark side, becomig Darth Vader)
To quote the Chorus from the song, "I tired so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter." Al the work I did to protect her from the Admiral didn't matter, because she wasn't the problem. I was. I should have been open about our relationship, I should have been open about that splinter group and it cost me.
So as I said, this song has been touching a very raw nerve in me, and I love it. It's a cathartic release for me to let the emotions from the whole drama get out of my system. So if you've ever done something becaus eof love taht eventually blew up in your face, you'll get this song. One thing, watch the visuals in relation to the lyrics, the person who put this video together did a long time to match up the scenes to the words.
Linkin Park - In the end(Star Wars video)
No comments:
Post a Comment